a love letter to crazy blonde bitches
nothing better than an insane person with a disturbing lack of melanin
Yesterday I was composing a dumb tweet about men covered in blood (my favorite way for them to present themselves) and realized the two men in question I chose were both blonde. Then I got to thinking about crazy people that I love, and realized a whole lot of them are very blonde or blonde adjacent. With that, I give you my favorite crazy blonde bitches.
Homelander
i’ve been criticized for saying this on multiple occasions but at the end of the day, I love this bisexual loser with mommy issues. He’s terrible. He’s terrifying. Im obsessed.
Lestat de Lioncourt (Sam Reid edition)
Yummy yummy French vampire man. He’s a terrible parent, an international terrorist, a murderer, an adulterer, and the mother of all mothers. He is my favorite person. I hate him. I love him.
Francis Wilkerson
this man is quite literally a domestic terrorist. also he cut a dudes hand off. a man has two hook hands because of him. but he kinda deserved it so slay.
Sue Sylvester
Her grasp on and ability to use the English language in order to say the most heinous and hilarious sentence you have ever heard in your entire life is only rivaled by Azaelea Banks, and frankly I think if the two fought, Sue would wipe the floor with her. She’s everything. EVERYTHING.
Spike from Buffy
I actually don’t know anything about this man. I’ve never watched Buffy. Everything I know about him is from YouTube edits and Tumblr gif sets. From what i’ve gathered though he’s a bad guy. and he’s hot. so onto the list he goes.
Glenn Howerton
When I was first drafting this list, I put glenn howerton on here assuming he was blonder than he is. I guess he’s brunette. But I don’t want to take him off the list because he’s my favorite insane person, so I chose the blondest image of him I could find. Anyway. Can you imagine exuding such a chaotic energy that your entire career is just you playing the most unhinged characters ever put to screen? I think it’s delicious.
Quinn Fabray
Crazy? Check. Blond? Check. Bitch? Check. Mother (both figuratively and literally)? Check.
Half of Cruella
Not fully blonde but who cares. She was never not serving. She should have killed someone though. Maybe an unpopular opinion but I feel like she’s earned it idk.
Penelope Garcia
I think this one may be controversial, especially since she’s not ALWAYS blonde, but I think it is criminally insane to wear such ugly outfits all the time and think thats just normal and okay. Being trapped in a room behind screens all day is not an excuse. No more quirk! Enough quirk!
Jennifer Coolidge
She’s actually not crazy to me, she’s just #real.